One things that I've realized is that I cannot not be in control of at least one thing in my life. I like to know how things are going to turn out, or what is going to happen next and how I'll deal with it. It's not an issue of submission, really to any person or persons, but it's that I like to be in control of my personal life. What I do and how I do things whenever I want to. I've become so independent that I can't give everything up to God, and stinkin' trust in Him that everything will turn out better than if I had done it myself. But for some reason I can't let go, even though I know that the result would be so much better if I just gave up my control up to Him. Why is it so hard for me?
Even when I'm pretty sure that I heard Jesus say, Just wait a few days and the reward I'll give you will be great, Please wait. I can't seem to let go of that control completely! I've done done what He asked, but I know that I haven't had the right attitude about it. I know that I should have been taking those few days and focussed fully on God and His desires for my life, but I didn't. To fully give control, a control of my life that I really don't have at all, and rely on God and His absolutely perfect will for my life.
It's not going to be easy, oh how I know that, but I can't grow if I don't.
-Dana
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