It's been a little longer than I intended.

What has been going on with me these past few months? Well, more than I think I really wanted to happen.
Sometimes I feel like I'm going forward with certain things in my life, but then something happens that shows me that, oh nope...you haven't even made a step back. In fact, you've started going backwards. Nooo!
It almost seems like I'm in the same spot as last year, almost. It's different, but not by much.
It would be nice if there was some sort of personalized map for my life, that I could at least see what's coming up in my life, and what the best course of action will be for that next step.

Life isn't always the roller coaster that we think that is. Many times it's as smooth as a boat on a lake. Then there are those times whenever it starts to storm, then you're up a creek without a paddle. lol ok I'll stop with the water analogies. But seriously, Things were going well I thought. Yea it go bumpy there for a little bit, but it had gotten better and there were no major catastrophes. Once again, something is thrown into the works that mess things up. Even after this same thing had happened not a month previously, and talks had been made to establish the fact that nothing could arise from it, and that both parties were in the wrong. Great, Ok, That works! I was (semi) fine with the terms of the relationship. But then something happened that threw me off like nothing else.

Now most of the time I don't act to irrational with major decisions that need to be made. I like to keep my head and my heart in unison with things that I'm going through. Unfortunately, I have no idea what to do about my current predicament! Mainly because with this time, I had nothing to do with it. Ok, maybe some, but I wasn't the one that initialized it. And this is really hard for me, because I know what I want, and I'm pretty sure that it's not a secret to the other person. But to have this happen after things had already been established as to our relationship and the lack of a romantic one. Once again, Totally confused!! Logic does Not work with relationships!! You can't break down something that complicated into an equation. It's one of the many risks that you take in life. I think that it would almost be better to actually be in a relationship, then having to reset everything every time things get thrown off.

That's just my thoughts on the current subject that I was very vague on, but I think that you get the point!
~Dana

P.S.
Ok, so after some thought, I now see that I was overreacting. I'm not going to worry about it. Yes we still need to talk about what happened, but I don't want this to take over my life.