New Semester

First I'd like to say that 2009 was an amazing year for me! I went through so much stuff from getting put way out of my comfort zone, graduating from college, to having my heart broken a little,  to my sister getting married suddenly, to taking on new responsibilities. Even trying to remember who I was this time last year is hard, because I've grown so much! Even though I definitely not been faithful to God, by reading my bible and spending time just talking to him, I know that he's been there for me, helping me become who I am today.

I have so many hopes, dreams, and desires, that I almost letting them control my life. It was almost getting to a point where I was putting them above God, even though I wasn't thinking about it. Well Wednesday at church we did this silence thing where we just stopped worship, and were silent listening to God and what he had to say to us. I've never really heard anything from God, or not that I know of, and you can't hear a still small voice if you have a rock band playing in your head. So I just emptied everything out, all of the thoughts that I had that day, what I had to do tomorrow, even the stuff that I had shoved in the back of my mind that I didn't want to think about. I knew that I had to empty more out, there was still had so much stuff in my head and heart that was clogging up my pores to soak in what God had to tell me. I imagined taking a huge glass jar and sticking all of my hopes(Getting Married and Having Kids), dreams(Living a comfortable life), desires, fantasies, little wishes, and broken hearts into that jar, and give it up to God. It seemed pretty easy, and then I felt like God said, Dana, The jar is still at your feet. You didn't give it up to me. Just let go. Having that jar still be at my feet, killed me. Realizing that I wasn't willing to trust God with everything that I had put above him. Giving up that jar for real the second time hurt, because I really did give to God. During this time, the band had started to play again. It was a new song, and whenever I had actually given everything that I had in my heart to God, theses lyrics were what was playing. "Then Seek the Lord, and Wait for what He has in store and know that Great is your Reward and Just be Hopeful." I had been hearing that for probably my entire life, but I don't think that it actually sank in till last night. Seek Him, God! Why is it so hard for my to get that. It almost seemed kinda like a bribe from God, saying that, Hey if you seek after me, then the things that you've been wanting your entire life, I'll give you. Just seek me first. I guess it's a lot easier now that I gave up my idols to God, and I don't have anything else to focus on.

I know that this year, 2010, will be one of the best years of my life. I know that I'm going to draw so near to God, and because of that, the reward that I am going to receive is going to be like anything that I can imagine. I almost wish that I could have a sneak peek at it, but then that would ruin the surprise! I hope that this semester and year will be amazing for all of you, and remember to seek God in all that you do!
~Dana