My life the past few weeks have been well, painful to be honest. It seems like very time I like a guy, he ends up liking my best friend, and her liking him. This last time was the worst. I really liked this guy, and for a little while he liked me too. But what ended up happening, was that he fell for my best friend. Again...Really??? It seems like this happens every time! I don't want to speak curses or anything on myself, but it's kinda hard to ignore it when it happens again and again. One thing that's been helping me out through this whole thing is God. It seems like I been hearing a lot about Love lately and it's almost annoying me. But after everything happen, it dawned on me that Love is really what I needed to be showing. Even though it's ok for me to be feeling these feelings, I need to not let them take over my life. Now after I've realize that God has plans for me that I can't even begin to understand, I can start to be happy for my friends! I know that it won't be the same as before, but God has a way of turning everything out into something good!
I just have to trust him!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Confusion
Ahh, why?? I can't seem to let the people that I loved, go. Even though the time that I spent with was brief, and shouldn't have had such a huge affect on me, I still feel pain whenever they do (seeming) stupid, or pointless. For some reason I can't bring myself to let go of the feelings that I have for them know the cost that I pay. This is so hard, because I attach myself to someone so strongly and deeply, that I don't know how to recover whenever I lose that person.
So, lets just say that my last post on Timing and Waiting( Just days ago)...well, I'm struggling a little. I'm still doing it, but I'm starting to feel attacked a lot. Which totally stinks, because I don't know how to defend myself. Only through God can I get through this fight. Not by my own will at all, 'cause if it was my own will, I would have never even entertained the thought of waiting in the first place!!
I feel a little better after that! Yep, still waiting on God's timing for my life!
So, lets just say that my last post on Timing and Waiting( Just days ago)...well, I'm struggling a little. I'm still doing it, but I'm starting to feel attacked a lot. Which totally stinks, because I don't know how to defend myself. Only through God can I get through this fight. Not by my own will at all, 'cause if it was my own will, I would have never even entertained the thought of waiting in the first place!!
I feel a little better after that! Yep, still waiting on God's timing for my life!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Timing
Alright, so apparently there's this study that's done to kids whenever they're little.
"Stanford University psychology researcher Michael Mischel demonstrated how important self-discipline (the ability to delay immediate gratifiction in exchange for long term goal achievement) is to lifelong success? In a longitudinal study which began in the 1960s, he offered hungry 4-year-olds a marshmallow, but told them that if they could wait for the experimenter to return after running an errand, they could have two marshmallows.
Those who could wait the fifteen or twenty minutes for the experimenter to return would be demonstrating the ability to delay gratification and control impulse. About one-third of of the children grabbed the single marshmallow right away while some waited a little longer, and about one-third were able to wait 15 or 20 minutes for the researcher to return.
Years later when the children graduated from high school, the differences between the two groups were dramatic: the resisters were more positive, self-motivating, persistent in the face of difficulties, and able to delay gratification in pursuit of their goals. They had the habits of successful people which resulted in more successful marriages, higher incomes, greater career satisfaction, better health, and more fulfilling lives than most of the population.
Those having grabbed the marshmallow were more troubled, stubborn and indecisive, mistrustful, less self-confident, and still could not put off gratification. They had trouble subordinating immediate impulses to achieve long-range goals. When it was time to study for the big test, they tended to get distracted into doing activities that brought instant gratifciation This impulse followed them throughout their lives and resulted in unsuccessful marriages, low job satisfaction and income, bad health, and frustrating lives."
http://www.sybervision.com/Discipline/marshmallow.htm
I'm pretty sure that I would have been the on that waited for the second marshmallow, but I would have been eying that first one, and tried to figure out how I could get it.
Well, I've kinda come to a decision about a big part in who I am.
Much like the Marshmallow study, God and the Devil are standing in front of me. The Devil is holding a dessert that looks soo good! I can smell it and I'm standing 5 feet away from it. God doesn't have anything in his hands, but he says that if I just wait on His timing, then He would give me a dessert so wonderful, that I can't even imagine how good it's going to be!
So all of that to say,
I've decided that I am not going to try to find the right guys for me. Why should I look in vain for guy that I think is the one, whenever God already has one for me.
I just have to wait on his timing for me.
"Stanford University psychology researcher Michael Mischel demonstrated how important self-discipline (the ability to delay immediate gratifiction in exchange for long term goal achievement) is to lifelong success? In a longitudinal study which began in the 1960s, he offered hungry 4-year-olds a marshmallow, but told them that if they could wait for the experimenter to return after running an errand, they could have two marshmallows.
Those who could wait the fifteen or twenty minutes for the experimenter to return would be demonstrating the ability to delay gratification and control impulse. About one-third of of the children grabbed the single marshmallow right away while some waited a little longer, and about one-third were able to wait 15 or 20 minutes for the researcher to return.
Years later when the children graduated from high school, the differences between the two groups were dramatic: the resisters were more positive, self-motivating, persistent in the face of difficulties, and able to delay gratification in pursuit of their goals. They had the habits of successful people which resulted in more successful marriages, higher incomes, greater career satisfaction, better health, and more fulfilling lives than most of the population.
Those having grabbed the marshmallow were more troubled, stubborn and indecisive, mistrustful, less self-confident, and still could not put off gratification. They had trouble subordinating immediate impulses to achieve long-range goals. When it was time to study for the big test, they tended to get distracted into doing activities that brought instant gratifciation This impulse followed them throughout their lives and resulted in unsuccessful marriages, low job satisfaction and income, bad health, and frustrating lives."
http://www.sybervision.com/Discipline/marshmallow.htm
I'm pretty sure that I would have been the on that waited for the second marshmallow, but I would have been eying that first one, and tried to figure out how I could get it.
Well, I've kinda come to a decision about a big part in who I am.
Much like the Marshmallow study, God and the Devil are standing in front of me. The Devil is holding a dessert that looks soo good! I can smell it and I'm standing 5 feet away from it. God doesn't have anything in his hands, but he says that if I just wait on His timing, then He would give me a dessert so wonderful, that I can't even imagine how good it's going to be!
So all of that to say,
I've decided that I am not going to try to find the right guys for me. Why should I look in vain for guy that I think is the one, whenever God already has one for me.
I just have to wait on his timing for me.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
You know it's kinda nice to see two of the guys that were a big part of my life for a time, play guitar together. It sounds to beautiful, and I'm glad that I still have them in my life, just not as close to my heart as before. Sweet sadness. It makes my heart hurt a little, but hearing the music makes it better!
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